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What is the matter with Mary Jane?
Her paper is back from the journal again,
And all the reviewers have been such a pain.
What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?
Reviewer A says that she needs to explain
What sharing her research is going to gain.
What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?
Reviewer B says "Cut the intro in twain,"
While Reviewer C says "Expand it again"!
What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?
Revise, resubmit, and revise once again.
Conflicting reviewers will drive her insane.
What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?
The editor's comments are all so inane,
And constant revisions become such a bane.
What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She works till she thinks she will crack from the strain,
Yet with every revision, coauthors complain.
What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?
Her department chair says that tenure she'll not gain
If she can't get her paper in Archives of Pain.
What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She's beginning to think that her work's all in vain.
And she has to revise that damn paper again!
What is the matter with Mary Jane?
Meredith G. Warshaw works at the Massachusetts Veterans Epidemiology Research and Information Center (MAVERIC) after having spent 10 years as a biostatistician doing psychiatry research.
Cary Barnhard grew up in New Jersey, where his senior class voted him "most unique." He maintains that honor is a polite way of being voted "most likely to need therapy." After a few misadventures in the music industry, he started pretending to be a graphic artist. Eventually it became the truth.
