The advertisements are practically irresistible - especially during the holiday season. Toys, games, CDs, and videos are marketed with the promise that they will help young children develop better brains and learn earlier. Parents who are concerned with their children's developing minds find the promises too enticing to resist. After all, parents want to ensure that their children will be ready to excel at school. And so an increasing number of people buy costly CDs of classical music designed especially for babies, educational software for toddlers, and videos that teach about numbers and science.

Do these educational devices accomplish all they claim? I recently served on a National Research Council and Institute of Medicine panel that comprehensively reviewed the science on early childhood development. We found that there are no special products or programs guaranteed to accelerate school readiness. The assertions that toys and technologies can raise babies' IQs are, quite frankly, not based on any hard scientific evidence that shows how these enrichment activities affect early brain development.

The science is clear about one thing: Young children benefit - intellectually, socially, and emotionally - from the time they share with their parents playing, talking, reading, and doing things together. By far the best gift parents and caring adults can give young children during the holiday season - or any time of year - is time spent together.

During the past few decades, there have been enormous advances in our understanding of how children's minds work. Thanks to the new science of early childhood development, we now know that babies are "wired to learn." Even newborns can imitate simple gestures, such as sticking out a tongue. By 9 to 12 months of age, infants have mastered cause-and-effect - the toy moves when the string is pulled - and can learn complex new actions such as how to open a container simply by watching others. Young children understand language before the first spoken word, grasp the physical force of gravity, and begin to figure out what goes on in the minds of other people. These remarkable abilities develop naturally as children explore the world and relate to those around them.

But despite the new knowledge about how children's minds grow, science has not discovered a magic bullet that will speed learning or boost intelligence - even though many adults may wish there was one. Most people have heard, for instance, of the "Mozart effect" - the view that listening to classical music improves brain functioning. Belief in the Mozart effect has even led to new public policies. In Georgia and Tennessee, a classical music CD is given to every new mother, and in Florida, a new law requires state run child-care facilities to play classical music daily. Yet no studies have ever indicated that infants and young children who are exposed to classical music experience any long-term gains in brain functioning.

Parents who want to help the minds and spirits of their children grow should not worry about buying the right CDs, computer programs, or educational videos. But they should spend lots of time with their children, giving them the undistracted attention and sensitive care that helps them thrive. Studies show that adults around the world, when they make the time, seem to talk intuitively to children in ways that foster language growth, reassure them in ways that enable emotional security, and provide experiences that promote intellectual development.

People are a child's best toys, and relationships are the best facilitators of growing minds and hearts. Of course, parents should play music and buy age-appropriate toys for their kids. But it is the things they do with children, in the context of warm, secure relationships, that help children's minds to expand. Parents and child-care providers should play with young children in ways that stimulate their imaginations and challenge their abilities. They should use everyday activities - as simple as going to the grocery store, baking cookies, picking up toys, playing a turn-taking game, or sharing with a friend or sibling - to teach number concepts, memory skills, and the strategies of cooperating and resolving conflict. They should read, talk about the day's events, and sing and dance together. In doing so, parents and child-care providers cultivate the skills in language and numbers that prepare children for school and promote the social and emotional skills that are also critical for academic success - such as cooperation, empathy for others, and self-control. These are the abilities that no toy or video can teach as well as warm relationships with caring adults.