HUMOR

Quiz for Potential
Grant Reviewers

by Lloyd Fricker

(Posted July 23, 1999 · Issue 59)


Find more great reading matter on the Galapagos Summer Reading list.


Who are the grant reviewers? Why, they're just intelligent people who are willing to give up months of their time reviewing grants for virtually no money. OK, so they aren't that intelligent or else they would get more money. The selection of the reviewers is quite simple. The following is taken from an actual exam used to evaluate the grant reviewing abilities of potential recruits.

Grant Reviewer Quiz

1. The major strength of the application is:

     (a) the thoroughness of the experiments to test an important hypothesis.
     (b) the interesting, although not well established, area of research.
     (c) the fact that the applicant correctly spelled his name on almost every page.

2. There are, however, some details which:

     (a) are especially novel and innovative.
     (b) detract from an otherwise outstanding proposal.
     (c) reveal the utter stupidity of the proposed experiments.

3. The hypothesis is:

     (a) reasonable and, if proven to be correct, will revolutionize the field.
     (b) interesting, but difficult to test using the proposed experimental approach.
     (c) really weird.

4. The preliminary results:

     (a) are clearly presented, providing solid proof that the proposed studies will succeed.
     (b) are internally inconsistent, revealing methodological problems.
     (c) appear to be a complete fabrication.

5. The proposed studies are:

     (a) straightforward and will directly test the central hypothesis.
     (b) problematic and poorly justified.
     (c) a total waste of time.

6. The applicant:

     (a) has considerable experience in the area of research.
     (b) has been modestly productive over the previous funding period.
     (c) must have bribed someone to get his Ph.D. degree.

7. The research technician is not essential to the project, and should be:

     (a) better justified.
     (b) deleted.
     (c) taken outside and shot.

8. In summary, the proposed studies:

     (a) are well designed and will lead to important results.
     (b) are important, although several flaws slightly dampen the enthusiasm.
     (c) made me laugh so hard I wet my pants.

BONUS QUESTION:

You finally agree to review a few grants for an NIH study section. The SRA sends a box of 18 applications to review. You:

     (a) send half of them back, saying that you can't possibly provide a thorough review of so many applications.
     (b) quit going to work for a month so you can devote all of your waking hours (and even some of your nonwaking hours) to the 18 reviews, finishing several on the plane to Washington, D.C.
     (c) not only review all 18 applications, writing extremely detailed critiques, but you also read several dozen more applications and comment on each one at the meeting.

Lloyd Fricker is a professor of molecular pharmacology at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City.

Andrzej Krauze is an illustrator, poster maker, cartoonist, and painter who illustrates regularly for HMS Beagle, The Guardian, The Sunday Telegraph, Bookseller, and New Statesman.


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by Lloyd Fricker (Posted June 25, 1999 · Issue 57)
The Need for Double-Strength Placebos
by Frederick N. Firestone (Posted May 28, 1999 · Issue 55)
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Apples and Oranges: A Comparison
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Techniques for the Inadvertent Mismanipulation of
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by Karen Hopkin and William Gerson  (Posted March 5, 1999 · Issue 49)
Il Destino di Grant Application: A Tragic Opera in
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by Lloyd Fricker  (Posted February 5, 1999 · Issue 47)

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