From Loose Ends (pp. 26-28)
by
Illustrations by Andrzej Krauze
© 1997 by Current Biology, Ltd. Used with permission.
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(Posted October 31, 1997 - Issue 19; archived November 14, 1997)
Editor's Note: The renowned molecular biologist Sydney Brenner is that rare and happy combination, a great scientist who is also a witty and articulate writer - his eloquence and keen eye for the absurd call up images of S.J. Perelman in a lab coat. In "Loose Ends," his enormously popular column in the journal Current Biology, he offers his observations on what he describes as "the more bizarre and ludicrous aspects of biology and its practitioners" - from the odd species known as administrator to purgatorial committee meetings. Now all the "Loose Ends" have been brought together in a collection of the same name, published this month by Current Biology, Ltd., with illustrations by frequent Beagle contributor Andrzej Krauze. Here is a typically delightful sample, "How Do I Rate?", wherein Brenner provides guidance in the delicate art of testimonial-writing - or how to find just the right words to say practically nothing.
I have spent a lot of time writing testimonials for my students and colleagues and evaluating candidates for grants, promotion, and prizes. There are some individuals I have supported at all stages of their careers, lauding them for their capacity to excel as research fellows, as assistant, associate, and full professors, and even as heads of department, though the latter is quite tricky. It shouldn't be long before I start getting requests for the very last stage of all. I imagine they will start roughly as follows: "Dear Dr. Brenner, Dr. K has applied to be buried by our organization and has given your name as a reference. The Institute of Celestial Kinesis is interested in creative cadavers who have attained a high level of earthly accomplishments and who will continue to be creative and productive in future heavenly pursuits . . ."
In
the course of my long career as a testimonial writer, I have learnt a number of important
rules that should be followed. The letter must be of the correct length, not too short, which looks bad,
or too long, which arouses suspicion in the reader. Just over one page is best. Much of the first page can
be filled with the titles and address of the recipient: "Dr. Ivor Paine, The A. Spirin Distinguished
Professor of Molecular, Cellular, and Developmental Neurobiology, Chairman (sorry, Chairperson), Search
Committee . . . etc." The text should overflow on to the second page with a sentence such as "Taking
all factors into account, and weighing up all the pros and cons, I have come to the conclusion that,
on balance, Dr. X may well have reached the demanding standards set by your Department. If not, he
is certainly on the threshold and has the potential to do so in the near future."
Another important rule is always to give your true opinion. If someone is second class, say so, even if you have to temper it by putting him in the top division of the second class. It may reflect on your ability to choose the right people, but if you say everybody is outstanding you will devalue your opinions.
All of
this takes time and I often wonder whether a form letter could be composed for
all occasions which only requires filling in the blanks and deleting the inapplicable. I have got as
far as "Dr. _____ is in the top/bottom 100% of all postdoctoral fellows I have known." This has
the virtue of allowing the recipients to make their own decisions without being contaminated by
your views. Another self-scaling sentence that could go into the form letter is "Dr. _____ will not only
contribute to, but will also gain from, the excellent scientific environment offered by your Department."
A new kind of letter is increasingly crossing my desk. This is the one requesting a performance evaluation. Common in industry, this letter has reached academe via administrators who have been to management schools or, at least, had a course or two. I thought I would complete one myself just to give you the flavor:
1. For how long and in which capacities have you known the subject? I have known him for nearly seventy years as friend, colleague, and occasional confidante.
2. How do
you rate his management abilities? Comment on his teamwork and his
capacity for multiplexing his activities. He is very good in a team, especially if he is the leader
and everybody does what he says. In some cases, he does let people go their own way and he will quickly
adopt whatever turns out to be successful. He has always undertaken more than he can manage and
multiplexes his activities only by the skin of his teeth. Over the past few years he has shown signs
of forgetting what he needs to do and has been known to come to the wrong meeting on the wrong day in
the wrong country.
3. How do you rate his skills of communicating with other people? These are excellent, except that some might say he talks too much. He is very good at persuading other people to undertake projects - some might call it brainwashing - and these are frequently successful. He is a reasonably good listener, but he tends to be easily bored.
4. What
are his strengths and weaknesses that could affect his performance
as a manager? His strengths are an ability to think divergently, a sense of humor about the world
and himself, and seriousness about his work. His weaknesses are procrastination and leaving everything
until the last minute (and beyond), an inability to be firm with people, and a tendency to spend more
time inventing ingenious reasons and excuses for not doing things than getting down and doing them.
5. Would you promote him if he worked in your institution? If you mean increase his salary, then absolutely yes. If you mean increase his responsibility, then absolutely no.
6. How would you rate him on the scales provided overleaf?
AAA (superbly outstanding).
Sydney E. Brenner was born and raised in South Africa, and received his medical training there. He has been involved in virtually every major devlopment in biology in the second half of the twentieth century - one of his numerous achievements was his work with Francis Crick furthering the developements resulting from the discovery of the DNA structure. The majority of his research career was spent with the U.K. Medical Research Council in Cambridge. He is currently president and director of science at the Molecular Sciences Institute in La Jolla, California, and chairman of the Scientific Advisory Board of the Institute of Molecular and Cell Biology, National University of Singapore, where he also maintains a lab. The Lasker Award, the Royal Medal, and the Copley Medal are just a few of the many honors he has received.
Andrzej Krauze is an illustrator, poster maker, cartoonist, and painter who illustrates regularly for HMS Beagle, The Guardian, The Sunday Telegraph, Bookseller, and New Statesman.
Endlinks
The Seven Deadly Curs'd Sins . . . Lust - another sample from Sydney Brenner's "Loose Ends" column, one of his series on "the seven deadly curs'd sins,"; from the October 1997 Current Biology. Here Brenner bemoans the modern negative connotations of "lust" and contemplates the potential rewards - both scientific and financial - of studying the part of the brain that "controls our basic physiology and baser psychology."
"Introduction to A Structure for Deoxyribose Nucleic Acid by J.D. Watson and F.H.C. Crick" by Sydney Brenner - describes the profound impact on his life and work of his first meeting with Watson, Crick, and the DNA model. From Outstanding Papers in Biology (Current Biology, Ltd., 1993).
Science Archives Homepage - information on the Science Archives project, a collection of videotaped interviews of noted scientists, including Sydney Brenner, speaking about their lives and work.
Caenorhabditis elegans WWW Server - information on the nematode, first used by Sydney Brenner to study the genetics of development and neurobiology. Links are provided to excerpts of Brenner's writings, the Worm Breeder's Gazette; recent papers; genetics and genomics; meeting information; the bionet.celegans newgroup; information from C. elegans labs; the Comprehensive Protocols Collection; software information; an index of C. elegans cells; and more. Maintained by the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas.
Fugu Project Resource Centre - headed by Sydney Brenner and Greg Elgar; undertaken to generate a landmark map of the puffer fish, Fugu rubripes. Its similarities to the human genome make the Fugu genome useful in gene-hunting. This page includes links to a project description, project protocols; a keyword search engine; a BLAST search engine, and information display options.
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